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Sparklers

Lights of Grace

No Means No

Better life

 

Women don’t leave a relationship easily, even when it is one of pain. They tend to give the benefit of the doubt more than is wise – trusting that the other person didn’t mean to cause harm. She eventually learns that your damage, while difficult, didn’t reach her mind or her soul. This realization is her point of no return. She is finished with you.

Hers is a forever good-bye. Nothing you can say or do will change that. You’re fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Her trust has been destroyed. She is so much stronger because she now knows that she deserves better than what you could ever give her. She moves forward, totally detached from whatever space you had taken up in her life. She will never reattach to your kind of betrayal.

Ever.

You are only a fading dark spot on the horizon– a minor mistake made and forgotten. She doesn’t look back. Her eyes face the next season as life brings forth the joys and blessings that were meant for her all along. She has experienced the worst from you. She cherishes her new best life and is thankful for it.

You are not, nor will you be, any part of her life – ever. Civility and respect means that NO means NO. You don’t have a say in her definition of that word.  The best you can hope for is that she has forgiven you.

Take heed: Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

Understand these words… and go fix yourself.

God Doesn’t Do Lucky

God Doesn't Do Lucky

I haven’t posted a blog in six months.

What’s that about?

So, I thought I could sit and draft 50 words or so and say I have.

So I typed some words.  Then I deleted them.  I typed some more – deleted them too.

Then I just stared at the blank screen and noticed a pop up message that said, “You haven’t written anything yet.”

That was helpful.  No, I’m not being glib.  It was helpful because it made me think.

What else have I not done?

haven’t lost that 10 pounds I’ve talked about for yeeeeeeears.

haven’t gone to Italy – I really want to go.

haven’t … hmmmm,  so many have nots that I’m embarrassed to list them.

Better to list my haves I think!

have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior

have loved and been loved by my husband and children

have learned unconditional love from my dog

have many wonderful family and friends

-have good health

have made a difference in people’s lives

have made mistakes – have asked for forgiveness – have given forgiveness – have forgiven myself

have helped others in little ways because those add up to big ways

-have lived a happy life.

Ah, this is helpful because it makes me think.  I’ve actually done all of the important things in life.

Aren’t I lucky.

As my friend Valye said, “No honey, you are blessed.  God doesn’t do lucky.

In A Blink

Sunrise brings light to darkness as this security camera caught on tape, in 33 seconds – the time it takes to inhale deeply, to smile – to blink.

 

 

 

According to Answer.com, the average person blinks 6.2 million times in a year.  As 2017 closes…in a few short hours, we will celebrate the joys, recognize the sadness, and hopefully, remember what it taught us.  It seems we were here at this time and place – only a blink ago – welcoming in 2017.

But what is a blink? Perhaps it is this very moment.

Now blink.  What were you doing? Thinking of what will be? Was it with regret or with hope?

It only takes a blink …

… to be born.

… to die.

…to be grateful.

…to feel sorrow.

…to forgive and to be forgiven.

… to experience peace.

… to be in the moment and to know that moment.

What will you do with your 6.2 million blinks in 2018?

 

 

1 Corinthians 15:52 ESV

“In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed.”

Changing Hearts is God’s Work

Forgiveness
Proverbs 22:3 says, “The prudent foresees evil and hides”.

How does a person forgive something that — to them — is unforgivable?

Jesus, while in agony on the cross said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:34).

Often in our humanness we wonder, “But what if they do know? What if their actions are calculated and self-serving?”  Distrust replaces love and forgiveness and when this happens, it’s time to be honest with God.  The best way to do this is by going to His word for direction.

Proverbs 22:3 says, “The prudent foresees evil and hides himself”.  But sometimes forgiveness requires caution because it is different from trust, necessitating the dynamics of a relationship to change.    Until an offender has a true change of heart, and because we can’t see that person’s heart, wisdom says to limit our trust in that person.

Trust is a like a four-way intersection where adherence to the wishes, viewpoints, or beliefs of others must intersect with humility and acceptance, even though they may not be the same as yours.  Pretense of respect and honor, shrouded in hollow words are as transparent as a full moon on a cloudless night.   For honor to shine true, the respect must be real.  How do we know if it’s real? We must proceed with caution given to us by the words of Jesus in Matthew 10:16, “be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves”. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean acceptance, or even forgetting of transgressions. It requires truth which means letting go of that which has caused hurt, whether forgiveness was requested or not.  This becomes a decision of the will – a conscious choice made in the name of Christ – to forget as much as possible and to move on with your life. It doesn’t mean we’re not to forgive.  Forgiveness may influence our world, but we must be humble and grateful for God’s love and forgiveness of us as we forgive others while maintaining the recognition that we are not God.

Changing hearts is God’s work.

 

Houston Needs Our Prayers!

The courage of our country fills me with hope and pride as concerns about ‘stuff’, at this time, do not matter.  So many people are in need of rescuing in Texas from an event that no protest, no law, no political party and no individual could start or stop.  Yet, so many people throughout our country, all a mixture of races, genders, cultures, and beliefs are blinded to those things, now sparked into the perspective necessary to come together to rescue those trapped by Hurricane Harvey’s floodwaters.

Sound bites from the media:

“Let me go get what we got to do.” – rescuer with a boat.

“Lessons in survival on the first day of school.” – local news reporter

“I put 12 people in two pickup trucks, somehow. One was just a guy in his pickup, and I put four friends and two puppies in that one, and then I put a family in there — kids in the back — and then we added two older men to that.” –rescuer, making the impossible possible.

“We don’t wait for help. We’ve been there before. We do this because it’s what we’re supposed to do – we’re supposed to help our neighbors.”  Clyde Cain, a founding leader of the “Cajun Navy” from Louisiana.

 “Will keep going for as long as it takes.” Andre Barnes, newest member of the Cajun Navy.

Across our street, across our state, across our nation, we are banding together just figuring out what we can do to help our brothers and sisters.  Will we do it perfectly? Never have. But if we help one or thousands, we are not waiting and it is in the doing that makes all the difference.  Let’s not wait. We can all pray and God accepts all prayers as perfect.

Ryan Stevenson’s song offers inspiring words of hope and courage.  Courage is, after all, holding faith in one hand and fear in the other, clasping them together in prayer.   Houston needs our prayers.

 

What If History Doesn’t Repeat Itself?

Our nation is scaring me.  Why are we fighting each other? We all want the same thing.  Our nation’s history, which is young compared to the rest of the world, should  be preserved. We must face our wrongs and be proud of how we made them right.  We became a great nation not through hatred, but through forgiveness, courage and engagement.

Forgiveness

“We forgive by preserving the symbolic reminders of the victims of the past with our ability to change and to celebrate the elimination of those wrongs as we remain united.”  — Linda Breeden, Author

On June 6, 1944 over 100,000 soldiers were killed in an invasion on French soil on Normandy Beach, known as D-Day.  Many of us have grandfathers, fathers, brothers, uncles and friends who served in that war, of all races and beliefs – all heroes for their sacrifice.  Many of them remain there today, buried in war cemeteries which also include the graves of over 21,000 German soldiers – the very people they were fighting.

Many American WWII veterans say today that they feel no animosity to those German soldiers, seeing them as another segment of the victims of Hitler.  German visitors to these cemeteries are reminded of the memories of their grandparent’s war record, confused and, at the same time, ashamed of their confusion.

One British veteran, David Edwards, said it had taken years to feel at peace about the Germans who were killed there, saying, “These German boys never wanted to fight us, any more than I wanted to fight them.”

Many of the European children today have been raised in a unified world and they ask,“Why did people hate each other?”  They deserve to know about the reasons that fueled a war of opposing beliefs so they don’t let history repeat itself and in the doing, achieve peace through forgiveness of a time that’s hard for generations today to comprehend because they didn’t experience it.

Courage

“For in a democracy, every citizen, regardless of his interest in politics, ‘hold office’; everyone of us is in a position of responsibility; and, in the final analysis, the kind of government we get depends upon how we fulfill those responsibilities. We, the people, are the boss, and we will get the kind of political leadership, be it good or bad, that we demand and deserve.”   — President John Kennedy

In the 1950s,  Atlanta native Ivan Allen Jr.,  the grandson of a confederate soldier, ran for governor of Georgia on a  platform of pro-segregation.  He lost the election.

In 1961, as a businessman he brought together black leaders and white businessmen to discuss ending segregation occurring at a downtown lunch counter.  The agreement was reached.  Later, when he was elected Mayor he removed the “colored” and “white” signs from City Hall, he gave black policemen the power to arrest whites, appointed the first black firemen and ordered the desegregation of city parks.

John F. Kennedy asserted in his book, Profiles In Courage, that the duty of elected officials is to “lead, inform, correct and sometimes even ignore constituent opinion” – if it serves the nation’s best interest. He called upon Mayor Ivan Allen Jr. to testify before Congress in support of the civil right legislation he wanted enacted.  Mayor Allen consulted with local civil rights leaders about agreeing to the President’s request.  They opposed his testimony saying he was, “too valuable to sacrifice”.

Putting aside his political jeopardy, Mayor Allen testified in support of the bill because he felt it was in the best interest of the country.  The media attacked, calling him “Benedict Arnold”.  A year after his testimony and eight months after President Kennedy’s assassination, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed.  Mayor Allen was also reelected by majorities from both the black and white voters of Atlanta.

Mayor Allen is known as a “human bridge”, his courageous actions enabling Atlanta to become “the city too busy to hate.”

Engagement

“Confrontation doesn’t change minds. Engagement does.”  Andrew Young, Civil Rights Icon and Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia

The United States of America was built by a unified resilient work ethic, a unified dedication to the pursuit of freedom and equality, and  a unified faith, hope and belief in our nation’s identity.  It is sad that the definition of any of these three are often defined today by emotional outrage of “what the other side says”.

Today, symbols seem to be fueling this outrage.  Free speech rights have become a battlefield where there is no engagement – divisions often resulting in injuries and death.  Public shaming has further divided our nation as evidenced by the reassignment of an ESPN sports announcer because of his name, Robert Lee.  Mr. Lee is a young, Asian-American man doing what he does best – sports announcing.  Outrage to ESPN’s action highlighted the lunacy that is dividing us further and breeding fear that this can happen to any one of us, regardless of our beliefs.

One of the most contentious symbols remains the Stone Mountain Confederate Memorial.  In 1915 a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy commissioned a sculpture of three confederate leaders to be carved on the side of the mountain.  The project had starts and stops and it took about 57 years to achieve, with the final work resuming, oddly enough, in 1964 with completion in 1972.

In a recent interview by NPR with civil rights icon and former Atlanta mayor, Andrew Young, he provided the same leveling that Mayor Allen did back in the 1960s.  Mayor Young opposes the fight to tear down confederate memorials, calling them a distraction to how far our nation has come.

When asked about the Stone Mountain carving, he responded with a voice of reason based on his many sacrifices over the years, “I think it’s too costly to re-fight the Civil War.  We have paid too great a price in trying to bring people together.  I would only consider addition to it – a freedom bell; because Martin Luther King, in his speech said, “let freedom ring from Stone Mountain in Georgia.”

What a celebration the ringing of that bell would be as we view rather than wage war over these symbols of the mistakes of our past so we don’t repeat them.

 

 

Sources:  Time World Magazine DDay, Profiles In Courage, NPR interview with Andrew Young.

 

 

 

 

 

The Beach

It’s been almost three years since I vacationed at the Emerald Coast Gulf Beaches in Florida.  How did I let this happen?

I’ve been here every year for the past thirty years.  Even in my depths of despair, pressured by work requirements, or tempted to go to Europe, I came, searching for and finding that big dose of peace.  beach

I had forgotten what those first few moments of reconnecting with sand and surf could do for my soul.  It is in this time when the sounds of the ocean’s waves lulls my spirit to calmness — a letting go…a release.

Soon the beach is filled with people.  A father and son throw a football to each other while they attempt to navigate the waves of the ocean. The ball spirals one to the other as the son shouts to the father, “You’re no Jalen Hurts!”  The father responds, “You’re no Peyton Manning!”  Eventually the ball is intercepted by crashing waves that giggle as it claims the ball and runs for shore.

Gentle puffs of  clouds rise over the horizon stirring my dormant inspiration, teasing with the promise of an afternoon rest.  My eyes grow heavy as the sounds of children drift to my serene state.  Little girls squealing as only little girls can, high pitched and excited as they shout, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”

Mothers ensure their toddlers are covered in long sleeve t-shirts and hats, protecting their young skin from the dangers of the ultra-violet rays of the sun.  Yet they bask in those same risky rays clad only in bikinis, confident the sun will be kind to them now — and in the future. Didn’t we all, I think.

Two preteen boys walk by, deep in conversation.  “Are there sharks in the water?” one asked.

“Nah, there’s a blue flag flying today which means there’s no marine life sighted,” his friend responds.

“What about flesh eating bacteria?” the first one persists.

“That’s only in polluted rivers,” his friend responds.

Their audience, the seagulls weigh in as they dive toward the water, protesting over this sad state of understanding.  The boys continue down the beach.  No worries.

A solitary plane flies low, the droning of its engine capturing enough attention to pull the eye upward to the banner that flies behind it: “Floyd’s 50 cent Oysters.”  My taste buds tease me with the desire for those cool morsels covered in spicy horse radish sauce.  I quickly Google Floyd’s to see what time I need to get there before they run out of those fifty cent oysters.

The puffy clouds are closer now, expanding higher in the sky, their edges jagged as the grayness begins to seep across the sky. The waves are stronger as they slap the shore, leaving remnants of seaweed, a reminder of turbulence within the coming storm.

The young mother next to begins to gather her son’s toys, “Time to go Charlie,” she says.  Charlie is holding a fish net as he runs toward the water, a purpose to be fulfilled.  She catches him as he rushes by, “But mommy I got to…” he protests.

“You got to get these toys up,” she says.

But why?” he persists.  She points toward the darkening clouds rolling toward us as a steak of lightening sends a warning.

“Because that,” she said, pointing in the direction of the rolling clouds,” will soon be here,” she finishes, pointing toward the sand beneath their feet.  “Understand son?”

Dropping his chin to chest, he mumbles, “Un..der..stand.”

Since Mother Nature likes to keep us guessing, the storm  waited until 10:45 p.m.  It began with a hint of thunder in the distance.  Then heat lightening lit up the entire horizon which soon included jagged spears of lightening, illuminating the skies like a fourth of July fireworks show.  The thunder alternated from angry growls to booms of excitement as rain pelted the windows.

Oddly enough, my dog, Teddie, slept through this storm that normally would have caused him to shiver uncontrollably.  If he’s not worried, I’m not worried.

This is a good place to be on my first day at the beach.  How good is that?

 

 

 

Sometimes a pencil…sometimes an eraser

Source: Sometimes a pencil…sometimes an eraser

Sometimes a pencil…sometimes an eraser

 

Happiness means that sometimes you’re a pencil…and sometimes you’re an eraser…

The opposite of happy is not unhappy, it is just sadness. Saying you’re unhappy is diluting and hiding from the actual emotion of sadness that both our physical body and our spirit must recognize and process in order to release it. This allows us to once again feel happy, because happiness is not exclusive of sadness.  The expression that ‘Life happens’ is just a way to hide from this. Life begins and ultimately ends with various pauses in between that make up life’s journey. Understanding this is to help us better appreciate the nuances and depth of each person’s journey.

music

I recently asked my Facebook friends a question:  If you are not happy, but you are not UNhappy, what are you?  Interesting responses include:

Complacent

Contented

 Numb

Bored

Indifferent

Medicated

Somewhat happy

Even keeled

Possibly accepting hopelessness

Happy and content with Jesus

Preoccupied and can’t think long enough to decide

Serene

Regardless of the variety of responses, each comes from our own individual perspective.  If each person were to expand on their response we could all learn more about when to be the pencil and when to be the eraser – either way, we would all feel happy in the doing. All of us are searching for happiness, but we need to know what makes us happy because often it is the NOT knowing that brings us sadness.

Don’t let sadness win!  Acknowledge it, feel it, then let it go however long that takes or in whatever form your individual circumstance requires. Expect the sun to come up each day, expect to love and to be loved; expect to forgive and to be forgiven; expect to be happy and to make others happy, if it is only to smile, to pray, to be kind, or maybe to share a “God Wink” such as this one from my good friend, Karen, by permission.

“Contentment is saying I’m okay with what I have and where I’m at.  I think contentment is a deeper level of happiness. Happiness (the ‘oh boy’ feeling of joy) is fleeting, but contentment is like a bed of hot coals. There are not flames, sparks or excitement, but there is constant steady warmth that warms your soul and still cooks your food.”

                                                                                                       – Karen Reed Woodcock

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