Today is July 8, 2015. Wednesday, a most serendipitous day as it turns out.
I was supposed to play golf this glorious morning. But I woke up with a stomach bug which can’t be ignored on a golf course. My partner to-be was one of my favorite golfing friends – rats!
So, I stayed home. As so often happens, there was something I needed to do on this day and it was not to play golf.
Wednesdays has always been my blog posting day. However, writers are creative people and that is why we find the most creative ways to avoid writing. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, so I got my writing partner, Teddie, and we clicked on my blog.
“Time to update this,” I said to Teddie.
He responded by licking my chin and snuggling closer to the keyboard in hopes that I would scratch his ear instead of playing with the dreaded machine.
I rubbed my cheek against his furry head, hoping for inspiration. The Sparklers Blog site’s new look cried out for some refreshing blogs to go with it. After all, how long before my Facebook friends get weary of reading my same old words?
I put Teddie down, as I paced in my small office, tossing a golf ball back and forth in my hands, matching the cadence of my steps. My writing partner doubled my paces with his four paws, following my steps, turns and stops with great precision. I thought about doing the laundry Shuddering, I sat back down and Teddie curled up at my feet. “What’s wrong with me?” I asked Teddie. He cocked his head, his black eyes looking deeply into my blue ones before snorting and curling up for yet another nap.
It takes persistence to write and send my words out to the world. “Same old words,” I thought. “Hitting golf balls is much more fun because, at the end of the day, it’s is all about competing with yourself. That makes it the game for me.
When I first began to play, I missed the ball more than I hit it. Oh the times I hit the ground behind the ball, feeling the shuddering jolt from wrist to shoulder, with the golf ball still in place, or worse dribbling on the ground in front of me. Initially I would cut my eyes around to see if anyone saw it, relieved when no one seemed to be looking in my direction.
So, I took lessons, practiced, practiced, practiced and practiced some more until I finally learned to play the game. Imagine my surprise when, as I played and began to keep score, I wanted a better score than the one before. I began to analyze, not what I did right, but what I did wrong. What made me miss that ball? What made the ball go in the opposite direction from where I aimed it? What made me miss that putt?
I had the best game of my life recently and was so very anxious to go “show off “my improvements at the ladies Wednesday league play. Instead, here I sit writing my first blog on my new, improved blog site while dodging puppy kisses when I asked Teddie why it had been so long since my last blog.
Why did I avoid writing my blog? Why did I look for things like pulling weeds, Facebooking, or internet shopping (but not buying). Analyzing the whys of this I realized perhaps I was afraid of sharing my own opinions… .
No, my feelings… .
No, my heart.
That’s it, heart. My heart is shielded by my desire to be better than I was before this moment. When I stop to think about that, I realize that being better doesn’t mean being someone you are not. Just like I’ll never be on the LPGA tour, I’ll never be a perfect person. Just as the persistence with my golf game allowed me to learn the self-improvement of the game, God’s grace allows me to be forgiven and to just be who I am as I strive to be the best me. My words are free to be shared because they come from the faith in my heart. This sparkle was for me today; yet I am hopeful that this sparkle from my imperfect heart, will bring just a bit of light to someone else.
How good is that?
I kissed Teddie’s head and felt that spark of God’s Grace!