Lights of Grace


character development

A Do-Over Anyone?


Would of

Could of

Should of

…are mistakes. Have you ever found yourself writing any of these?”
Elizabeth O’Brian

Have you ever found yourself uttering those words of regret?

Would of you wanted a do-over, knowing what you know now? What could of been the difference it made?   Should of you regretted now what you didn’t know then?

I would of been a stay at home mom.

Would of my children been the better for it?

Would of I been the better for it?

I could of cherished the times spent on the front porch with my husband as we sat in our rocking chairs each evening,  sharing our day and watching the children play.

I could of left the dishes unwashed.

I could of not taken those times for granted.

I should of realized seconds, moments, days, weeks and years make up a lifetime.

I should of paid more attention to those times.

I should of thanked God for those blessings more than I did – I should of wanted Him to know.

As I ponder on the could ofs, would ofs, and should ofs I know this:   It is not too late to do it now.

would of could of should of

A Kernel of Radical Anger


I can get so mad when people don’t take care of those who can’t take care of themselves (like animals).   I don’t like to be mad.  It makes me feel bad, therefore, making me madder at what made me mad in the first place!

Recently a woman was standing in a line at the DMV in Missouri and fired her gun into the air because the line was too slow.  I don’t know if she calmed down after being thrown to the ground, handcuffed, and taken to jail.  My point is that this example, in its most basic form, is radical anger.

When a kernel of radical anger is planted, it grows from what it’s fed.  Today, political issues (groan) feeds this type of anger whether from public sources or in hidden back ‘rooms’.   Social media and different slants provided by different news agencies are often the triggers.

The good news from this is that our freedom allows us to choose our party of choice:  Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, Green and my favorite, Humane (animal rights).  There are more than 100 additional parties to choose from.  How good is that?

Sadly, the kernel of radical anger is growing in so many different directions that chaos is feeding radical anger. Humans have lost our ability to be both different and united. When did we stop thinking and deliberating on issues?  Recognition of differences, even if it’s not “your thing”, in and  of themselves should unite us; sadly, they do not.

So, do we risk an extreme reaction like the woman in the DMV line; or do we can choose a different method?


To find common ground for common causes, while respecting individual rights.


By not feeding our kernel of anger and use:

      Truth over Lie.

     Kindness over rudeness

    Accepting your way is not my way – love diffuses hate.

Evidence of Success? 

Feed the kernels of honesty, respect and love as we remember what our country, and many other countries,  were founded on, which is (for purposes of today’s blog, my reference to county is America):

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”

John Dickinson, Founding Father in his pre-revolutionary song, “The Liberty Song” wrote, “Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all!  By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall.”

We the people created this county. Let’s not demolish it.

America must maintain the identity of what God blessed America with.  We welcome all in our big ole’ melting pot, sharing, working, learning, and trusting our personal savior.  Every individual brings something to the mix, not to dominate, but by doing the right thing in the right way. 


 Proverbs 15:18 “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”

It’s just that simple.

Reality and The Rose Colored Glasses or “What WAS Harper Lee thinking?”

I would never second guess a writer who wrote a book such as “To Kill A Mockingbird”; or for that matter, her prequel which was released as a sequel, “Go Set A Watchman”. Both books written from two entirely different perspectives, reality or rose colored glasses.

It is up to the readers to determine which is which and those choices are purely personal.
Watchman has a lot of the truth of those times in which it is set. Mockingbird also has those same truths. The major difference is the characters of Atticus and Scout. In Mockingbird, the Atticus character is one of strong courage and integrity; the stuff John F. Kennedy’s books, “Profiles In Courage” honors. Scout’s character was shaped by his moral fiber which went against all odds. Didn’t she realize the difference her father made in that instance?

In Watchman we see the character, Atticus, who knew but one way to function in the environment in which he lived. To go along to get along was surely a coward’s way, but in those circumstances it could have been the only way to create that single, significant change in the universe. Scout moves away from the south and becomes a disillusioned adult woman, not only by her father, but by the world of prejudice she endures as a female, even in the progressive world of New York City. I wonder, why didn’t she fight to make one small difference?

I, for one, can see how Ms. Harper wrote “Go Set a Watchman” first. Perhaps that was her truth – her reality.

Perhaps, “To Kill A Mockingbird” was written once she got the reality of that time out of her system. Conceivably it was only then that she could put her rose colored glasses on and write the story the way she wanted the world to be, one of goodness and strength that made changes that could be built upon for generations to come – just as Rumi said,  “You are not a drop in the ocean.  You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

For that is what writer’s often do.

Even God took imperfect people to do great things. The book of Judges in the Bible could almost have been written by horror author Stephen King in some instances, and by Reverend Billy Graham in others. Flawed people are just that, often consumed with guilt, suffering with the scars from their family history or personal failings. When I think about myself, underwhelmed comes to mind. Yet, over the course of my life, God has shown that He loves to use weak and silly people like me. This reminds me that my responsibility is response to God’s ability. Flawed people so often make change for the greater good, even when they just go along to get along.

We all choose triumphs of good over evil or we choose the heartache of evil over good. Let’s please not miss the good that came, generation after generation, from  Mockingbird and not allow Watchman to be a “gotcha” about two flawed characters.

I choose to believe.

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