This Is About My Friend – My Best Friend
Aloneness can bring utter loneliness or it can bring peace that is life sustaining. Aloneness often arises from life pauses. We all experience them; pauses that cause us so much grief that we don’t want to restart the living of life. We just want to stay still, which is okay for a moment, or two, but not for a lifetime. These pauses can also be of great joy, Christmas day, birth, marriage, or running your first marathon.
Recently, I was told by a friend (you know who you are, but did you know that it was a sparkler you gave me that day when you said, “You are a positive person. I’m sure that sustains you.”
I thought about that for a time, wondering about her assessment. She knows some of my pain. She knows the words that come out of my mouth. She knows when I’m naughty and when I’m nice. I guess she also knows that I’m only human and just once in a while I need a reminder, whether a gentle sparkler offered to relieve the darkness, or a good, solid 2×4 to get me past my determination to live in a somewhat stubborn manner.
There are times when we ache with the problems of these life pauses, whether it is grief, illness, not being able to make ends meet, or not knowing how to correct the mistakes we’ve made and regret. These life pauses zap our strength and there seems to be no restarting the life we thought we wanted or deserved. Instead, we put one foot in front of the other, we breathe in and we breathe out, all the while simply wanting to give up, to let go and to surrender.
But today, like yesterday, and like tomorrow, we’ve got to take care of others who need us – the kids, our aging parents, or best friends. This is what restarts those life pauses. We put our aloneness aside and get about caring for others, even when we’re not sure we can take care of ourselves. Sometimes our aloneness even causes us to reach out and grasp life with both hands, accepting that jump-start from others that propels us into, well, life. This is the payoff for that aloneness.
In my darkest life pauses, struggling and not sure what to do next, I would say the following prayer, “God. God. God. Amen.”
I didn’t know what I was asking for or what I expected. What I now know is that God knew. He sent me love and caring friends and family and sometimes, even strangers to help me. He provided for me and his providence calmed my fears. He even gave me work to do. He was always one step ahead of me though I thought life was still on pause, allowing me to choose for myself, even when I thought there were no choices.
He also knows that we need aloneness to search within our self – to hold onto our heart’s hope, to face our fears, to accept help and to forgive ourselves. It is in the doing of this that we realize that we were never alone during these life pauses, because now matters. I use aloneness for guidance, to sort through the good and bad of life and to shake off discouragement – which is a waste of time. He has gifted me to live out my life in such a way that I restart those life pauses with joy and gratitude.
If I’m a positive person, it is only because He is always there because best friends never leave you. Right, my friend?
March 4, 2014 at 12:46 am
So right my friend and we are always here for you, even if it’s to hit you upside the head with a 2×4! That was drastic, lol! This was a good week for you, getting back out into the world with friends. Can’t wait to get moving on that “to do” list of activities! Let’s get looking at the landscape plan this week. It’s too cold to do anything else!
March 5, 2014 at 3:09 am
I neeeeed that 2×4 and I love that you aren’t afraid to use it! We can work on that landscape plan and dream about the spring that is showing some signs with the daffodils on the parkway. God Bless you and Frank.
March 4, 2014 at 2:50 am
I love you Linda, that was beautiful. You have made such a difference in my life friend. You truly are that positive person that shows what Christian love is really about through smiles, laughter, your compassion and concern. These past five years have been such a blessing getting to know you even better and I sure miss having you close.
March 5, 2014 at 3:07 am
No one quite like you Tammy..only you would come into my house and do my laundry. I love to laugh with you…God does give us joy!
March 4, 2014 at 4:05 am
So beautifully written Lin, and as always, full of wisdom and hope. Are we ever prepared for what life throws at us? Probably not. But its not the preparedness that matters. It is as simple as asking yourself what is really important, and building your life around your answer. When you do this, you realize how truly blessed you are, and that gives you the strength to tackle life’s toughest situations as best you can.
March 5, 2014 at 3:06 am
Kathleen you are certainly facing some tough situations right now. I know God will sustain you and if you ever doubt that, look over your shoulder…He’s there.
March 4, 2014 at 7:12 pm
What a “Sparkler” My Best Friend of 27+ years. This Sparkler makes one appreciate the many blessings we have, and your friendship is one of those blessings. I will always be there for you, just as I surely know you will be right by my side when I need you. Your Sparkler is beautifully written and truly inspirational. Your writing is a special gift, and you have such a wonderful way of sharing your gift with others. You are a positive person, Lin, and this friend will never leave you.
March 5, 2014 at 3:05 am
You are a special friend…you certainly know when “I’ve been naughty or nice.” We’ve been though a lot of life pauses these past 27 years and your friendship is God’s blessings.
March 5, 2014 at 12:36 am
I love, “God. God. God. Amen.” So simple and perfect. My spirit side needs alone time to create and contemplate. Without it, God winks get lost in the day’s shuffle. It’s easy to forget the inspiring moments without taking an inventory at the end of each journey.
March 5, 2014 at 3:03 am
Well said Sandy. It brings me joy because you are a “God wink” to me!